The Great British Bake Off – Scouse Style

Even if you failed at fairy cakes in cookery at School, you cant help but love The Great British Bake Off, and with all the controversy surrounding the move from the Beeb to Channel 4, and with Mel and Sue defo jumping ship, we’re staging a take over!

Here’s 12 reasons why a scouse version of GBBO would be hysterical!

1 – The famous white tent would be set up on the lawn at Speke Hall, although people might mistake it for a wedding marquee and turn up pissed, slurring ‘Simply the Best‘ into wooden spoons.
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2 – Paul Hollywood wouldn’t stand a chance. He’d definitely be called a smarmy get and offered a straightener in every episode.
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3 – There’s so many Scouse hosts to choose from! How about Leanne & Dave from Radio City? Lee Butler could have everyone busting some moves while whisking? Celebrity Chef Simon Rimmer would be the perfect fit!  Or maybe our very own Jay & Ellie……..then again the cakes wouldn’t stand a chance!

LEE BUTLER

4 – The term ‘soggy bottom‘ would be replaced with ‘Arrrhhhh Ehhh, the arse has fallen out of tha’.

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5 – And dropped baking trays and collapsed gingerbread creations would be met with sighs of ‘Awww Sly’ and ‘No Need, it looked boss‘.

6 – Mary Berry would call EVERYONE Queen.

7 – The contestants would be diverse. Brenda from Woolton Village reckons she’d win it with her scones alone. Also scone is pronounced S-C-O-N and not S-C-O-O-O-N-E…..you’re in the north now love!
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8 – And Liam a 19 year old lad from Bootle with an impressive ket wig who’s surprisingly good at choux pastry.
9 –  Being named star baker gets you a page 5 spread in the Echo.
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10 –  Failing the Scouse-with-a-crust (or Scouse Pie as we call it) challenge means you can no longer live in Liverpool.
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11 – Contestants would be fewmin and shouting ‘I’d better get a march on ‘ at the remaining time.
12 – Liam from Bootle would win the batter technical challenge with a bag of Aunt Bessie’s from Iceland and enough cheek to get away with it!
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It’s pastry week and this is when its gets proper tense, who is your money on?

Catch GBBO Wednesday 8pm, BBC One. 3….2….1… BAKE!

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